Italian weddings — confetti, the long lunch, and the photo of the 'sposi'

An Italian wedding (*matrimonio*) is, in practice, three weddings in one day. The morning at the bride's family home, the ceremony in the church or town hall, and the long, long, *long* lunch. Photos pile up at all three.

Morning at the bride's home

Italian tradition keeps the bride at her parents' house until the moment she leaves for the church. The groom is not allowed to see her. Friends, the bride's *damigelle d'onore* (bridesmaids), hairdressers, and the bride's mother gather for several hours of getting ready. This is intensely photographed — phone photos from the bridesmaids, often by the bride's youngest cousin who is too young to drink. The groom, meanwhile, is at his own family's home being teased by his groomsmen and an uncle or two.

The ceremony

Catholic weddings — still the majority outside large northern cities — are full Mass. They run an hour or longer with a substantial homily. Civil ceremonies at the *municipio* are quicker. Either way, the moment everyone photographs is the **sì** ("I do") and the immediate kiss. Italian guests are bold with cameras — there is no etiquette of "let the photographer have the shot first." Three hundred phones go up at the same moment, and the official photographer captures the photos of three hundred phones.

The confetti & the rice

As the couple emerges from the church, guests throw **rice** (or in modern weddings, dried flower petals, lavender, or paper *confetti*). The Italian *confetti* are technically sugared almonds wrapped in mesh bundles called *bomboniere* — a parting gift each guest receives — but the modern English/American sense of paper confetti has also become standard. Either way, the moment is photographed from every angle.

Il pranzo — the lunch

The Italian wedding lunch begins around 1 pm and ends sometime after sunset. Antipasti, two pastas, two main courses, vegetables, salad, multiple cheese courses, dessert, the wedding cake (*torta nuziale*), espresso, *amaro*, more *amaro*. Between each course there are speeches, songs from the older cousins, and the band starts mid-afternoon. By the dessert course every guest's phone is full and they've started deleting old photos to make room.

The famous **photo of the sposi** is the one that ends up on the wall of the parents' house: the couple seated at the head table, framed by their wedding party, with the wedding cake just in front. Versions of this exist from every Italian family for the past 150 years. Today it gets taken approximately three hundred times by three hundred guests, and the host has no idea which version is best until weeks later.

Citations & further reading

- Wikipedia (Italian): [Matrimonio in Italia](https://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matrimonio_in_Italia) - Wikipedia (English): [Italian wedding customs](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Italian_marriage) - Touring Club Italiano: *Tradizioni del matrimonio italiano*